Jimmy Pavaroddy's Cheers, Jeers & RIP's

June 14, 2047
REMINDER: 50th Wedding Anniversary today.

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June 12, 2024
RIP to NBA and LA Lakers Legend Jerry West at the age of 86.
AKA Mr. Clutch and Zeke from Cabin Creek, he taught us all the fundamentals.
June 8, 2024
Today we observe the 100th Anniversary of the death of British Mountaineer George Mallory on Mt. Everest.
April 10, 2024
O.J. Simpson dies at age 76 and meets his Maker....without his crooked lawyers.
April 5, 2024
CHEERS to New Jersey's strongest earthquake since 1783, a whopping 4.8 jolt.
Combined with the Solar Eclipse April 8, it's the end of the world as we know it.
April 3, 2024
Congratulations to Jerry West on his 3rd induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame as a player, Olympics, and contributor to the NBA. This equals Eric Clapton's 3 inductions into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame for the Yardbirds, Cream and an illustrious solo career. Clapton & West, simply the best.
March 30, 2024
RIP to 45 Easter Worshippers in South Africa after their bus went off a cliff.
Happy 79th Birthday EC, the most influential musician of the past half century.
December 27, 2023
RIP Musician & Comedian Tommy Smothers of the Smothers Brothers at the age of 86.
November 1, 2023
Cheers to sleeping in until 7:41am today, a new record after 3 years and one day of retirement. The old record was 7:38am.
October 26, 2023
For the Record: Good Riddance to my 3-year Jury Duty obligation.
The last time I saw 800 people packed like sardines in a room against their will was Schindler's List.
July 21, 2023
RIP to legendary crooner Tony Bennett at the age of 96.
2/14/23 - RIP over 42,000 Earthquake Victims in Turkey/Syria
2/15/23 - RIP Actress Raquel Welch at the age of 82
2/16/23 - RIP MLB Player & Broadcaster Tim McCarver at 81
2/18/23 - RIP Actress Stella Stevens at the age of 84
January 19, 2023
RIP to legendary singer songwriter David Crosby, co-founder of the Byrds and Crosby, Stills and Nash, at the age of 81.
January 10, 2023
RIP to legendary British Rock Guitarist Jeff Beck, suddenly, at the age of 78.
December 30, 2022
RIP to trailblazing journalist Barbara Walters at 93, and earlier this week soccer legend Pele at the age of 82.
Good riddance to the worst pope in history, Benedict at 95. Coincidence his real name begins with RATzinger?
May he enjoy eternity with all the pedophile priests he swept under the carpet like the other crooked church leaders.
August 2, 2022
RIP Legendary Dodgers Broadcaster Vin Scully at the age of 94.
Playing ping pong in the garage summer nights listening to Vin call games was priceless.
May 25, 2022
America the Pitiful - The Latest Machine Gun Massacres:
May 14-Grocery Store, May 15-Church, May 24-Elementary School
NOBODY is safe ANYWHERE in the United States of Stupidity.
We have met the enemy...and the enemy is us.
February 22, 2022
Cheers to 2/2/22, a little after 2:22pm, two cool to have landed on a Twosday.
December 31, 2021
RIP to legendary actress Betty White at the age of 99, just 17 days short of 100.
December 28, 2021
RIP to legendary NFL Hall of Fame Coach & Broadcaster John Madden at the age of 85.
August 29, 2021
RIP to legendary actor Ed Asner (Lou Grant) at the age of 91.
ALSO: If it was mandatory, Ida evacuated by now.
August 24, 2021
RIP to legendary Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts at the age of 80.
August 8, 2021
As the Pandemic of the Unvaccinated continues, and the Fanless Tokyo Olympics come to an end, here are the current Covid-19 Death leaders:
Gold: USA 633k - Silver: Brazil 562k - Bronze: India 428k
RIP to those who died before the vaccines were available.
July 5, 2021
Great news, America is back better than ever. Only 233 people were killed and 618 people were injured by gun violence in more than 500 shootings across the country during the Fourth of July weekend, a 26% drop from last year's holiday weekend. Land of the Guns, Home of the Bullets.
March 17, 2021
Happy St. Patrick's Day from this Sicilian.
Bought gasoline today for my Civic for the 2nd time since Halloween.
That's right, I've driven less than 500 miles in 4.5 months. Retirement is beyond wonderful.
1-800Gambler: Have you noticed the onslaught of gambling commercials and apps that allow you to squander stimulus payments and your life savings within minutes? Irresistible betting offers with the cure in size 3 font. Fortunately I've never gambled or bought a lottery ticket or own a dumbphone, so I can't participate in the latest stupidity disease. Cheers.
January 1, 2021
Since retiring 2 months ago, here's what I miss the most about working at St. Stupid Church in Penndumbo, NJ:
1. Consuming over 120 grams of peanut butter fat per week in Arnold's Whole Wheat bread.
2. Using a public bathroom that hadn't been cleaned since February due to cleaning service cancelled.
3. Being an unwilling accessory to over 11 years / $48,000 worth of Criminal Tax Evasion and Disability Fraud knowingly condoned by yet another crooked catholic priest and benefiting a career criminal bigoted handyman who still calls them "colored people" and who threatened a foreign lady to go back to her own country thus adding a Harassment charge to his already stellar rap sheet. Yes, I really miss working there. Feel free to attend Mass there. The pews were just sanitized in April. Seriously, I have the surveillance video of that not being done since April. Just another example of a not-so-thriving scandalous church currently being sued by a priest sex abuse victim. If they're not screwing little children, they're screwing taxpayers and the government.
December 21, 2020
Cliche of the Year: "We're gonna beat this thing". Wrong, we already lost.
Question is by how much are we going to lose by? 500,000 lives?
November 8, 2020
RIP to legendary Jeopardy host Alex Trebek at the age of 80.
November 7, 2020
CONGRATS to Joe Biden, newly elected 46th President of the United States.
Ding dong the witch is dead....Donald...you're fired. NOW, America will be great again.
August 13, 2020
CHEERS to ABC-6 Philadelphia for airing The Action News Theme Song on Tire Pump just 5 days after the video was submitted.
July 6, 2020
Everyday of the week our mental midget president fulfills the scripture:
"A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards." -Proverbs 29:11
Today he proudly declared that "99% of all Covid-19 cases were totally harmless."
Therefore, only 1% of the cases are responsible for the 138,000+ American deaths, the increase of 51 million unemployment claims in the United States, and the shutting down of all major sports, schools, churches, restaurants and 70,000+ businesses. OK then, let us all feel better about the 99% harmless cases.
July 4, 2020
As the United States of Idiots continues to reopen during the Covid-19 Pandemic, the gunfire & homicide rates have sky-rocketed in big cities like Chicago, New York, Atlanta, Milwaukee and Philadelphia. Turns out that these black lives don't matter when they're killing themselves in record numbers. Hence, the only black lives that really matter are the ones publicly engaged in illegal activities, drunk or drugged, resisting arrest, and then canonized shortly after a predictable altercation with the cops. 272 New York cops retired within a month as they can no longer defend themselves while "gently arresting" criminals who are all packing heat. New York also just disbanded over 600 plain clothes officers whose arresting procedures are now frowned upon. DEFUND THE POLICE...SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL HOODLUM and wish them well on their way to their next crime.

1. Scrabble has just eliminated 226 "racial slurs" from it's legendary lexicon.
2. Lindsay Olives has cancelled its "Black Olives Matter" campaign for salad lovers.
3. Covid-19 has just been declared racist as 68% of its victims are black or brown, though it began yellow.
4. John Wayne exhibits, movies and airport in jeopardy. He's been declared a white supremacist from a 1971 interview.
5. Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson, after an anti-Semite rant, is going on a field trip to the Auschwitz concentration camp.
June 29, 2020
RIP to TV Pioneer, Producer and Comic Carl Reiner at the age of 98.
June 1, 2020

May 22, 2020
Our oblivious, mental-midget president has ordered all churches to open this Sunday. Go for it. Raise the Curve and let's do 2 more months of a Stay At Home Order as this Magic Carpet Ride into retirement keeps gliding..
May 5, 2020
MY HOUSE is sparkling and ready for retirement. Everything is painted, cleaned and repaired. Having squandered over 140 days/28 weeks/7 months of vacation time from a crime-ridden religious organization job, I've thoroughly enjoyed the payback of the last 6 weeks of Covid-19 quarantine. Some people's trash is another's treasure. Some people's death is life to someone else. On this memorable Cinco de Mayo, be sure to opt for Dos Equis instead of Corona. Cheers.
April 10, 2020
SPIRITUALITY OR STUPIDITY? As we approach Easter weekend, let us strongly suggest the abolishing of 3 ridiculous pagan traditions in the church, namely the Sign of Peace handshake, the sharing of a Chalice that's never been sanitized,, and Good Friday's Veneration of the Cross, THREE suicidal actions in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.
April 4, 2020
COVID-19, while quite deadly to the most vulnerable elders in the world, has given me my first whole week off in 19 years. I've also been spared a voluntary root canal and engaging in the Criminal Tax Evasion & Disability Fraud programs benefiting an under the table bigoted gardener at the church I work at. Combined with tax day being delayed 3 months, the pandemic has been quite the ironic blessing. Stay safe y'all, looking forward to retirement in 6 months and 2 days.
February 8, 2020
RIP to legendary actor Robert Conrad at the age of 84.
This completes my Top 5 Actors list. May they all rest in peace:
David Janssen, Leslie Nielsen, Don Adams, Charlie Chaplin, and Robert Conrad.
February 6, 2020
RIP to legendary actor Kirk Douglas at the age of 103.
CHEERS to Mitt Romney, the only Republican to have the spiritual balls to convict Trump.
CONGRATS to Andy Reid and the Chiefs on winning Super Bowl 54. Incredibly, the last 4 major sports champions in America are the Chiefs, Nationals, Blues, and Raptors.
January 26, 2020
YET ANOTHER STUPID SMALL AIRCRAFT ACCIDENT on a foggy mountainside claims the life of the Rich & Famous, and the list grows on: Kobe Bryant 41, Roy Halladay 40, Thurman Munson 32, Corey Lidle 34, JFK, Jr. 38, Ricky Nelson 45, and John Denver 53.
The next time you need to travel 40 MILES in dangerous fog on a non-workday Sunday morning--
take the freeway and an extra 20 minutes--and live to talk about it.
I've heard countless times this week, "Life is fragile, you never know...." STOP.
Life is not fragile for us ordinary citizens who drive their Honda Civic to a dull job that pays the bills.
Life is indeed fragile for those who bungee jump, sky dive, climb K2 or Mount Everest,
have drug & alcohol addictions, and rely on small aircrafts as a convenient mode of transportation.
Life is fragile for the rich & famous and the thrill-seekers who are bored with normalcy. RIP ya'll.
January 19, 2020
RIP Children's TV Show Host Gene London at the age of 88, the Mr. Rogers of the Delaware Valley from '59-'77.
January 17, 2020

January 8, 2020
CAUGHT BETWEEN IRAQ and a hard place. Trump kills dillweed, Iran retaliates, accidentally kills 176 in passenger jet. Sorry. My bad. Carry on Twidiots.
January 1, 2020
DESPITE the verses below, Catholics continue to pray to dead saints, a tradition lasting nearly 2 centuries.
"For there is one God and ONE MEDIATOR between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus." I Timothy 2:5
"Jesus answered, 'I am THE way and THE truth and THE life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" John 14:6

Turns out the Virgin Mary's "Mother of God" title was invented by a council in 431 AD, so I hereby begin the campaign to crown St. Joseph the "Step-Father of God" using the same distorted logic. Calvin rejected calling Mary the "mother of God," saying, "I cannot think such language either right, or becoming, or suitable. ... To call the Virgin Mary the mother of God can only serve to confirm the ignorant in their superstitions." Theologian Karl Barth wrote that "the heresy of the Catholic Church is its Mariology." Another of Mary's man-made dogmas with no Scriptural backing is "The Assumption", invented in 1950 by Pius XII. The Assumption is indeed, an assumption. Both the Assumption and Mother of God feast days are big money winners for the Church as well as All Saints Day Nov. 1 to make up for their lack of teaching what true tithing is.
"Saint Joseph was a just man, and Jesus was his son, But Mary was a virgin, so Joseph he got none."
UNTIL he finally got a few past the goalie as Jesus had several brothers and sisters (Mark 6:3). Other big money makers are "indulgences", the monies given directly to a priest's pocket in exchange for favors for the dead in the fictional state of "purgatory", another non-scriptural myth. Praying for the dead and to the dead remain a scriptural abomination. But what the heck, they're all big money makers for the ever-shrinking Catholic church. The blind continue to lead the blind, foul-mouthed, abusive wolves in sheep's clothing. I know. I work with 2 mental midgets running a church into the ground like a 9-11 jet. There's a link to their rap sheet on this page somewhere. See if you can find it.
December 29, 2019
PLENTY of good seats at church today. Obviously the twice-a-year cockroaches have gone back into the ground until Easter. Maybe they're on to something. Perhaps we're all wasting hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars a year at church. NOT. Knowing that the Creator promises to spew the lukewarm out of his mouth, I still haven't found one preacher with the balls to tell these cockroaches that they're not even close to lukewarm, but ice cold bordering on frozen. They don't want to offend them. They welcome a few bucks in the till twice a year for their pension, thus, to hell with them. Literally.
November 17, 2019
RIP legendary Philadelphia Inquirer journalist Bill Lyon at the age of 81. I had the honor of meeting Bill in December of 2000 on the TV show "Angelo Live" a few weeks before the Three Tendons appeared on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno".
October 30, 2019
ABSOLUTELY BRYCE-LESS: Washington Nationals win first World Series title---without the 330 million dollar man.
CONGRATS to ex-Angel Howie Kendrick, MVP of the NLCS, with yet another clutch homer in Game 7 to lead the Nats.
October 16, 2019
HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY Bryce Harper, now set to watch his former team, the Washington Nationals,
compete in the 2019 World Series whilst balancing his checkbook at 330 million...on his couch. Absolutely Bryceless.
October 6, 2019
RIP to the Greatest Drummer to ever walk the face of the Earth, Ginger Baker of the Cream, at the age of 80.
October 4, 2019
Kris Kostner, son of Bobby Ray, has just been released from prison. Lock your doors folks, thieves run in the family.
September 19, 2019
IT WAS AN HONOR to spend the evening with the Stone Temple Pilots & Rival Sons at the Philly Met. Classic Rock lives.
September 15, 2019
RIP to singers Ric Ocasek of The Cars at 75 and Eddie Money at 70. My band covered "Two Tickets to Paradise" in '79.
September 10, 2019
RECEIVED 3 more legal action calls for the EX who fled the state 25 years ago. Like bin Laden, you can find her in a cave.
September 7, 2019
WHERE'S WALDO? Heck, see if you can find Serena Williams in the picture below:

August 4, 2019
RIP to America's Mass Shootings #21 (22 in El Paso) and #22 (9 in Dayton). thus far in the grim year of 2019. Hence, we present the video to the right "The Newfangled Gunner", America's ongoing love for guns and severe lack of gun control.

June 12, 2019
CONGRATS to the St. Louis Blues on winning their first Stanley Cup Championship in 7 games over the Boston Bruins. Last place on January 3....interim coach Craig Berube...a rookie goalie....no problem, incredible story.
May 27, 2019
DOUBLE RIP to legendary Green Bay Packer Quarterback Bart Starr at the age of 85 and MLB great Bill Buckner at the age of 69.
ADIOS to 11 dead Mt. Everest climbers in the past 10 days who were just dying to get to the top of Everest...and achieved both goals.
May 14, 2019
TRIPLE RIP to actresses Doris Day, 97, Peggy Lipton, 72, and comedian Tim Conway, 85.
May 6, 2019
RECORD-SETTING Jeopardy champion James Holzhauer (22 wins for $1,691,008, a whopping $76,864 average) must now wait until the yearly yawner Teachers' Tournament is complete to continue his amazing streak. He is to Jeopardy what Wayne Gretzky was to the NHL, demolishing records and re-defining the game.
April 9, 2019
DOUBLE WHAMMY in Game Show History: Congrats to James Holzhauer for winning a new one-day record of $110,914 on Jeopardy!, thus demolishing Roger Craig's 2010 record of $77,000. RIP Charles Van Doren at the age of 93. Charles is the all-time game show fraud who was given the answers on NBC's "Twenty-One" in 1956-57. Coincidence?
March 19, 2019
Reflecting on what makes an American sports team truly great and something we can all be proud of:

March 12, 2019
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACTRESS BARBARA FELDON! Yep, Get Smart's 99 has just turned 86!
February 16, 2019
VATICAN DEFROCKS Cardinal Theodore McCarrick for "soliciting sex during confession and committing “sins” with minors and adults “with the aggravating factor of the abuse of power.” HERE'S a Solution Catholic Church: Discontinue feeble CAP program (Child Assault Prevention) which goes thru the motion of fingerprinting and background checking very nice volunteers who teach kids religion classes. THEY are not the problem. Why not initiate the ZTC program: Zero Tolerance Castration. It works in other countries. Then let the old pervert die as a Nun.
February 15, 2019
"Bless me Father for I have sinned, but how many years has it been since YOUR last confession?. I have, for the past 11 of my 44 years of employment (25%) been an accessory to over $42,000 worth of Criminal Tax Evasion and Disability Fraud that have benefited YOUR gardener, Robert Ray Costner, current pastor of Wrongwood Gardens, formerly known as the Parish of Saint Stephen---criminal activities that you have condoned and allowed with multiple warnings documented and ignored." It is written, Wisdom will laugh at your calamity for you failed to heed Her warnings. Good luck. This of course brings to mind the movie "Airplane II, the Sequel" where a man confesses to a priest that he embezzled money from his company to pay for his girlfriend's abortion. Then he sneezes, and the priest proclaims, "Bless You son", and the man responds, "O thank you Father".
February 14, 2019
Valentine's Day marred by another Clergy Abuse Scandal. More than half the priests named are dead and burning. Their BISHOPS now need to be held accountable. One KNOWN predator priest was transferred 14 times. Bring justice to the Bishops just like they defrocked the once legendary Joe Paterno for sweeping Jerry Sandusky's perversions under the table.
February 3, 2019
A FEW afterthoughts on what experts have called "the worst Super Bowl of all time, a new low in Super Bowl history, and god-awful." Bill Belecheat wins his 6th, the MVP was suspended earlier this year for PED juicing and the Patriots continue to thrive in the NFL's worst division with the Bills, Dolphins and Jets, and a mediocre conference in which 2 victories gets you to this game. The wrong teams participated. Non-call in New Orleans screwed the Saints, phantom roughing the passer call and coin flip got the Patriots in, thus the lowest rated Super Bowl in modern history with the worst halftime show and commercials to boot. RIP NFL.
January 12, 2019
Happy 50th Anniversary to Broadway Joe's Super Bowl III guaranteed victory, Jets over the Colts 16-7.

December 10, 2018
JEERS to the 2 SSJ Nuns who embezzled over $500,000 from St. James Catholic School in Torrence, CA to satisfy their need for gambling and luxurious vacations. JEERS equally to the Diocese of Los Angeles for waiting to break this story until the DAY AFTER the national collection for the Retired Religious Fund further exemplifying the current sad state of the Catholic Church in America.
December 1, 2018
RIP Legendary Actor Ken Berry (Mayberry RFD, Mama's Family) at the age of 85.
November 1, 2018
INSPIRED by an article in the Catholic Star Herald, "Can Bad Catholic Music Be Stopped?", I have launched a page of Hymn Parodies. At least now they're not repetitious cliches. Enjoy.
September 6, 2018
RIP to legendary actor Burt Reynolds at the age of 82.
September 1, 2018
SUCCESS. For the first summer ever, I've avoided the cliches of the 3 B's: Beach, Beer and BBQ's along with the normal avoiding of corn on the cob (meant for fattening animals) and watermelon (sugar water). The Burpee Big Boy harvest is currently at 91 pounds, Jersey tomatoes at their finest.
August 27, 2018
CONGRATS to Parody King Weird Al Yankovic on receiving a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!
August 15, 2018
THERE'S A SPECIAL place in hell for the 301 priests in Pennsylvania who molested over 1,000 children over a 70-year period in a 900+ page report released today. Today is also the Feast of the Assumption, a dogma invented by the Pope and his buddies without Scriptural support. Thus we can make the assumption that The Assumption was the very first assumption.
August 14, 2018
43rd Anniversary of my first Clapton gig, the Legendary LA Forum show with Santana, Joe Cocker and Keith Moon.
August 5, 2018
CELEBRATING 125 months of Criminal Tax Evasion and Disability Fraud fueled by nearly $38,000 of unreported SGA (Substantial Gainful Activity) by SSDI recipient Robert Ray Costner, our local village idiot. Having had a career in comedy, I so look forward to the punch line that ends this bit. When an Able-Bodied Fraudster SSDI recipient begins to evade taxes, it's White Trash Activity to the 2nd power. When these 2 activities are supported by the Church, it's White Trash Activity to the 3rd power. Bottom line: priests are abusers too, as we know all to well. If they're not abusing children, they're abusing the system and God will surely hang them by their little white collars. IF YOU KEEP A TEAPOT ON THE STOVE FOR 125 MONTHS, IT'S BOUND TO GO OFF. Thus, I did. Hence, after tolerating this crap for 125 months, I will now be entertained by it until 7/1/2020. Educational parodies about the dangers of Tax Fraud & Disability Fraud are forthcoming.

August 1, 2018
HOLY MACKEREL, 22 years ago today saw Iron Butterfly, Black Oak Arkansas, Mountain and Foghat. Heckuva gig!
July 31, 2018
Kostner the King of Krude (KKK) strikes again:
1. "Dear Choir Ladies, it's a law in NJ to recycle paper and not place them in the trash."
Sincerely, the Handyman with the 10-year streak of Criminal Tax Evasion and Disability Fraud.
2. "Keep printing out those $5 Home Depot coupons", said the Handyman who disposed of $400 worth of brand new, unopened, labeled boxes of Mass Missals. In his defense, he wouldn't know a Missal from a french fry.
June 8, 2018
CONGRATS to the Golden State Warriors on their 3rd NBA Championship in 4 years.
Farewell to Drama Queen LeFraud James who would be 1-8 in the NBA Finals if not for Ray Allen and Draymond Green. After beating the Celtics without their 2 best players in 7 games, LeFraud exchanged handshakes on the court after the series. Upon getting swept by the Warriors, LeFraud, once again, was hiding in the locker room whilst his teammates were exchanging handshakes with the Warriors. Classic, immature GED behavior. How's the self-inflicted "broken" hand Holmes? See you next year exclusively on the Travel Channel.
May 9, 2018
CHEERS to the 41st Anniversary of my Martin Luther Hospital in Anaheim hire date.
JEERS to my annual take on the embarrassing quality of NBA basketball:

March 4, 2018
RIP to my first widescreen TV, a 46" Sony Bravia, purchased 4 weeks before the Phillies won the 2008 World Series and dying 4 weeks after the Eagles won Super Bowl LII. Thank you for your condolences.
March 2, 2018
BEWARE, turns out the most dangerous animals on earth are not grizzly bears, mountain lions or your neighbor's pit bull. They are inactive self-proclaimed "devout Catholic families" who contact the church every 6 years or so for a piece of sacramental paper, most notably the hard to get Sponsor Certificate which a priest cannot sign off on if he doesn't know where they've been the better part of the past decade.These families will utter the magical words "we were asked to be sponsors" mixed in with other jargon and then manufacture idiotic lies to discredit a parish, priest & staff for denying this piece of paper. One imagined a laugh, one imagined a giggle, and one conducted a fake inquiry to donate Lenten bucks in memory of her patents, quite hilarious and entertaining. In essence they red-flagged their names diocesan wide. The Catholic Church requires very little of its members: one 50-minute Mass obligation a week and tithes are not preached or expected. Simply place a buck or two in 10 to 15 envelopes per year secured with scotch tape and wala, you're a Catholic in good standing! Heck, jeans, sneakers and sports jerseys are the norm, come as you are folks.The most recent request didn't qualify as godparents anyway as they were married by a mail-order ordained minister in the Virgin Islands. The Church doesn't recognize that and sponsorship is denied. But hey, better to throw God's Church under the bus than to be embarrassed before your Family & Facebook followers. Jeers to that sad-of-a-state family until the next parish bridge is burned. The moral of our story: If you lie to the Church, you've lied to the Trinity and THEN, Urine Trouble.

February 4, 2018
CHEERS to Super Bowl LII Champion Philadelphia Eagles, 41-33 over Bill Belicheat's Patriots.
The Four Squeezins were honored to have appeared on NBC, CBS, WMMR & WIP in Philly this historic week.
I was also honored to have aired this week the prophetic video, The Brady Crunch, a parody of The Brady Bunch.
Tom Brady is now 5-3 in Super Bowls. In the 3 losses, he's declined to shake hands with the opposing QB at the end of the game. Speaks volumes.

November 30, 2017
RIP to actor & singer Jim Nabors, aka Gomer Pyle, at the age of 87.
November 25, 2017
RIP to actor Rance Howard, father of Ron & Clint, at the age of 89.
October 16, 2017
ANOTHER OXYMORON discovered as the "Bronx Bombers" hit a few more feeble 314 foot homers that landed in the first row tonight, one of them one-handed and off balance by Toms River native Todd Frazier. Let's hereby place an asterisk next to Mantle, Maris, Ruth, Jackson, Judge and other "Yankee Sluggers" for accumulating a ton of homers in a park with Little League dimensions. Case in point: Strikeout King Aaron Judge hit 34 homers this year in the Bronx and only 18 in "real ball parks". Behold, another oxymoron is born. How're you handling the heat George?
Also, a yankee farewell to CC Slobathia, here pictured with similar "athletes".

October 7, 2017
I retired today. Bought 4 new Goodyear Eagles for my Honda Civic.
Whilst waiting for the installation, read a 1953 health food cookbook. Fascinating.

Pathetic ad of the day:
October 5, 2017
JEERS and Congratulations to co-worker Robert Ray Costner on receiving the "Classless Bigoted Pig Award" and Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" award for the 10th straight year. Adding to his already stellar reputation and mastery of Tax Fraud, Disability Fraud, Insurance Fraud, and multiple Harrassment cases (featuring the threatening catch phrase, "Go back to your own country lady"). Robert cemented his legend today by blowing church property leaves to the neighboring Vocational School with the intent of having the "fast, little Mexicans" clean them up (his reference to the school's landscape company). Current level of criminal tax evasion stands at $36,070 for performing physically limited tasks such as plowing, shoveling and mowing a 5-acre property the past 10 years, not to mention hauling heavy loads of soil, mulch and landscape pavers. Darn good for an able-bodied fraudster milking the government of SSDI funds meant for the most vulnerable in our society, i.e. those who are "actually disabled". Bigotry is not a disability. It's a state of being an Asshole. It should not be rewarded with government benefits provided by taxpayers. Give him Preparation H, not SSDI benefits. If I might end with a compliment, this is white trash activity at its finest. A special retirement party has been planned for Robert. Stay tuned. To add to the insult, this criminal activity is fully supported and condoned by the Roman Catholic Church, namely Rev. Adolf Kevorkian, the Delaware Valley's finest closer since Brad Lidge. Both have ignored all warnings since the failed audit September of 2014 and are now immortalized in this pathetic blog. Payday is coming chumps. The dangers of unreported and un-taxed SGA (Substantial Gainful Activity) was clearly explained as were the 250k penalty, 5 years in prison, and restitution of all previously received SSDI benefits. I can understand the village idiot's behavior, but for a priest to wake up every morning and willingly flip the bird to the diocese, Uncle Sam and Trinity...well, good luck spending your retirement years in a cell with Big Bubba.

October 2, 2017
RIP Rock Legend Tom Petty, suddenly, at the age of 66.
August 17, 2017
JEERS to the worst tomato plants in history, 43 measly pounds compared to last year's 199 pounds of Big Boy.

August 8, 2017
RIP legendary singer, songwriter, and outstanding musician Glen Campbell at the age of 81.
July 20, 2017
RIP Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park and formerly of Stone Temple Pilots (2013-15) at the age of 41.
June 12, 2017
CONGRATS to MVP Kevin Durante on his purchase of an NBA Title proving the old adage "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." UPDATE on LeFraud's resume: He's now lost 5 out of 8 NBA Finals with an 18-27 record---darn near 1-7 if not for Ray Allen and Dreymond Green. NOTE: When LeFraud takes the allowed 2 steps, he's usually off balance and goes off the wrong foot. Stuff we learned in the 4th grade.

June 9, 2017
RIP legendary actor Adam West, aka the original Batman and the mayor on Family Guy at the age of 88.
May 27, 2017
RIP to legendary rhythm, blues & rock singer Gregg Allman at the age of 69.
We also remember his brother Duane who died on October 29, 1971 tragically at the age of 24.
May 18, 2017
RIP Chris Cornell, lead singer of Soundgarden, at the age of 52.
May 9, 2017
CHEERS to Charles Barkley's take on the lackluster NBA playoffs that continue to feature constant whining, legalized traveling & palming: "Thank God for the NHL playoffs," Barkley said on the NBA on TNT postgame show. "That's what I be watching in the back instead of these blowouts." Additional Quotes: Sportswriter Ramona Shelburne, "I I wasn't getting paid to watch these games, I wouldn't watch them." Kevin Durant: "If you don't like it, don't watch it."
Good advice Kevin. We're watching college girls softball instead. Very entertaining & competitive.
April 6, 2017
RIP to comedic legend, "Mr. Warmth" Don Rickles at the age of 90.
March 21, 2017
RIP Chuck Barris, legendary host for the "Gong Show", at the age of 87.
March 18, 2017
RIP Chuck Berry, the original Father of Rock & Roll, at the age of 90.
February 5, 2017
JEERS to the most Epic Choke in American Sports History courtesy of the Atlanta Falcons whose attention span went down the toilet after leading 28-3 late in the 3rd quarter in Super Bowl LI. Atsa shame.
January 26, 2017
RIP actor Mike Connors (Mannix) at 91 and actress Barbara Hale (Perry Mason) at 94.
January 25, 2017
RIP to legendary actress Mary Tyler Moore at the age of 80.
RIP to Allman Brothers drummer Butch Trucks at the age of 69.
January 13, 2017
RIP actor Dick Gautier, aka Hymie the Robot on Get Smart, at the age of 85.
January 10, 2017
JEERS to Pittsburgh Steelers assistant coach Joey Porter (top left), arrested for assault in a Pittsburgh bar just like his quarterback Ben (2nd top left) after TWICE assaulting 2 barmaids 7 years ago. With that said, we thought we'd revisit some wonderful mugshots:

January 9, 2017
Behold, the modern athletes' technique of preparing for a playoff game:

December 28, 27, 25, 22, 2016
RIP actress Debbie Reynolds at the age of 84, her actress daughter Carrie Fisher 60,
singer George Michael 53, and actress Zsa Zsa Gabor at the age of 99.
December 26, 2016
NAME ME anyone who didn't have ANY desserts this past Christmas weekend AND Thanksgiving weekend
as I achieved. Heck, even the cigarette-smoked homeless fellows get Pumpkin Pie at the shelter!
November 14, 2016
CONGRATS to former Philadelphia Flyer Eric Lindros on his well-deserved induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame.
November 13, 2016
RIP to Rock & Roll Hall of Famer and outstanding musician/singer/songwriter Leon Russell at the age of 74.
November 8, 2016
The 2016 Presidential Election was Historical, Hysterical, a Miracle for some, a Nightmare for others.
Bottom line: In a few short months we'll have the hottest First Lady ever to inhabit the White House. Bombs Away!
November 2, 2016
CHEERS & CONGRATULATIONS to the World Champion Chicago Cubs, first title since 1908 when the Model-T Ford was introduced and 6 years before Charlie Chaplin's debut! JEERS to LeFraud James, high school graduate, Yankee fan, whiner, traveler, and the most famous piece of feces in the toilet bowl known as Cleveland. Below is a makeover of his now infamous Halloween cookies originally mocking the Warriors and now the Instant Karma of the Indians. Me watch'em game till 12:50am!

September 25, 2016
RIP Golf Legend Arnold Palmer at the age of 87.
August 29, 2016
RIP to legendary comedic actor Gene Wilder at the age of 83.
August 17, 2016

July 11, 2016
HAVING JUST MADE PIZZA yesterday, I was intrigued by Woody's chalkboard quote on ESPN's "Around the Horn" today that read: "Ban Pre-Shredded Cheese and let's make America grate again." Timely & Brilliant.
June 28, 2016
RIP to legendary NCAA Women's Basketball Coach Pat Summitt at the age of 64.
RIP to former NFL coach of the Philadelphia Eagles Buddy Ryan at the age of 85.
June 21, 2016
The Four Squeezins appeared on NBC's America's Got Talent. We didn't audition, they called us, we obliged. Heidi Klum is indeed a goddess, it was an honor conversing with her in front of 3,000 people. I'm under contract not to reveal any details about the show.
June 19, 2016
JEERS to another American sports tragedy, the death of the NBA (National Brick Association), and a championship gift-wrapped to Cleveland by the NBA's front office. As long as they continue to allow LeFraud the privilege of taking 3, 4, or 5 steps, this travesty will continue and insult the intelligence of all those who grew up adhering to simple basketball rules. BOTTOM LINE: If not for Draymond Green's "sudden" inappropriate Game 5 suspension (triggered by LeFraud's classless step-over) and Ray Allen's miraculous buzzer-beater in 2013's Game 6, LeFraud would be 1-6 in the NBA Finals, and deservedly so for this all-about-me, immature high school graduate (or GED?). I side with Charles Barkley, Tony Kornheiser, and Stephen A. Smith...the NBA was pitifully wrong. Below are 2 travelings within one play, 3 steps & 4 steps, something I once did as a 5-year old. This shows how low the learning curve has gotten.
ADDENDUM: Turns out the Cavaliers LOST over 48 million dollars this year.
Hope you enjoyed your purchase of an NBA Championship.
June 10, 2016
RIP to legendary NHL superstar & ambassador Gordie Howe, "Mr. Hockey", at the age of 88.
May 19, 2016
RIP actor Alan Young, best known as talking horse Mr. Ed's owner Wilbur Post, at the age of 96.
April 11, 2016
RIP Ed Snider, NHL Hall of Famer, Founder & Owner of the Philadelphia Flyers at the age of 83.
March 30, 2016
Taped an episode of NBC's "America's Got Talent" as a member of The Four Squeezins in Pasadena, CA.
February 7, 2016
CONGRATS to the Super Bowl 50 champion Denver Broncos, a 24-10 victor over the hapless Carolina Panthers.
CHEERS to classy champ Peyton Manning on his 2nd Super Bowl ring.
JEERS to classless chump Cam Newton, the NFL's 14-year old "MVP".
January 28, 2016
RIP co-Jefferson Airplane founder Paul Kantner at the age of 74.
January 18, 2016
RIP co-Eagles founder Glenn Frey at the age of 67.
January 10, 2016
RIP rock & roll singer David Bowie at the age of 69.
January 4, 2016
RIP to legendary producer Robert Stigwood, 81, former manager of the Bee Gees, Cream & Eric Clapton.
December 25, 2015
An annual December cliche...Merry Christmas Greetings from the Four Squeezins novelty supergroup!

Christmas Medley 1

Christmas Medley 2

IT WAS AN HONOR to spend part of the evening with the World's Greatest Tenor.

Of course I literally witnessed late-arriving fans pulling their hair out in their cars being detoured away from this building to allow the drunkards to exit the Army-Navy game from the Linc. Concert started late at 8:35pm, most of us got to our seats by intermission. Thanks Philly.
December 3, 2015
RIP Scott Weiland, original Stone Temple Pilots lead singer, sadly at the age of 48.
December 2, 2015
RIP to the 14 victims.

November 6, 2015
HOLY HAVA NAGILA Batman, it has just been brought to our attention that The Four Squeezins are featured in the major motion picture "Hava Nagila - The Movie". We are shown at the one hour mark right after the Leonard Nimoy and Neil Diamond segments. As both of us are non-Jewish, we are indeed honored. This movie currently has an 89% approval rating on RottenTomatoes.com. Below is a screen shot of our appearance. Click on it and see our full rendition of The Hava Nagila.

November 1, 2015
ROYAL FLUSHING in NYC! Congrats to Ryan Madson and the Kansas City Royals for winning the World Series 4 games to 1 over the hapless Bad News Mets who couldn't field, throw, or run the bases any better than a bad Little League team.
October 24, 2015
RIP CJR at the age of 93, just 3 weeks short of 94.
September 27, 2015
FAREWELL Jorge Mario Bergoglio, aka Pope Francis. His weekend in Philly cost about $57 million dollars and all the roads and bridges have now reopened after a weekend of feel-good fluff. 860,000 of the anticipated 1.5 million folks showed up for the 4pm Mass which is a much better percentage than the 24% of Catholics who actually attend a 55-minute Mass on a weekly basis. It was very disappointing that the trip ended without a public apology directed at all the raped altar boys, but hey, gotta keep the good vibes going, right? We now have $57 million dollars less to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and shelter the homeless.
September 11, 2015
HOLY MACKEREL, MAMMA MIA, for the first time in U.S. Open Women's Tennis history 2 Italian girls will face each other in the Finals. Roberta Vinci has dethroned the Charles Barkley-like beast known as Serena. Bon Fortuna to her and her opponent Flavia Pennetta in the Finals. This is a great day for ITALY.
September 8, 2015
CHEERS to the most dominant figure in sports as per ESPN, Serena Williams, who is well on her way to winning the first Grand Slam in Women's Tennis since Stephie Graff in 1988. But is it really fair for this MAN to beat up on all the little, dainty women tennis players?

September 3, 2015
BREAKING NEWS KIDS, it's now OK to cheat now that Tom Brady's suspension has been lifted for his involvement in "Deflate-Gate". If you have money and know the right people, cheat like Tom!
September 1, 2015
As another dismal Phillies' season comes to a close, we were just wondering:

August 25, 2015
SINCE MY ONE AND ONLY CO-WORKER was fired in January 2008, I've now saved over $24,000 in vacation expenses having now spent 75 vacation days at my desk. Those 75 days = 600 hours = 2,400 games of ScrabbleBlast. So for the 8th summer in a row, THAT'S what I did on my summer vacation. Of course, then there's the fine wine, Grand Marnier and constant canoodling...100% Sicilian I am.
August 24, 2015
INSPIRED by today's Stock Market meltdown for those whose god & religion is Money:

In a related story, there's this small, struggling church in Anytown, USA that employs a choir director and a handyman. The church is charged $5 per pay period to execute the direct deposits for the choir director and handyman, both of whom are registered members of this church. That $120 per year bank charge EXCEEDS the combined charitable contributions of those 2 employees/church members. "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation." -Malachi 3:8-9.
August 15, 2015
HAPPY 90th BIRTHDAY to legendary actor Mike Connors, aka Joe Mannix!
August 14, 2015
40 years ago today - my first Clapton gig 8/14/75.
25 years ago today - Clapton on the Spectrum floor 8/14/90.
TODAY we enjoyed a 3-hour summer vacation in beautiful Belmar, NJ.
CHEERS to harvesting 120 pounds of Jersey tomatoes thus far in our $13 garden (32 plants).

JEERS to our local "Village Idiot", destined to succumb to self-inflicted lung cancer whilst serving time for Criminal Tax Evasion and Disability Fraud. "God will not be mocked, surely a man will reap what he sows". (Galatians 6:7). Every year Social Security shells out over $175 billion dollars in disability benefits. Some deserve it, some don't. However, last year alone there were over 72,000 allegations of disability fraud, many of whom earn thousands of dollars of unreported wages with miraculous feats of physical ability to compliment their milking of the government. We the taxpayers are footing the bill for these criminals. Only in America can a "disabled" handyman plow & shovel snow and mow & trim a 5-acre property (under the table) whilst collecting SSDI. Meanwhile, a frail hemophiliac getting treated for Hepatitis C was actually denied SSDI. THAT ladies & gentlemen, is ass-backwards. Report Disability Fraud HERE.
August 9, 2015
RIP to legendary NFL player & broadcaster Frank Gifford at the age of 84. 100% gentleman and class act.
July 30, 2015
CHEERS to the NFL for upholding the 4-game suspension of Patriot's QB Tom Brady for Deflategate.
JEERS to the ever corrupt and once-again-caught-cheating Patriots whose last 2 Super Bowl Championships are tainted with 2004's SpyGate and 2015's Deflategate. From the owner to the coach to the QB, a classless, whining, cheating organization.
July 22, 2015
40th Anniversary Alert, first Stephen Stills concert:

July 17, 2015
30th Anniversary Alert, umpteenth EC concert:

July 17, 2015
IT IS FINISHED: Cheers to the very last Wedding Reception I'll ever be required to attend. Festivities began in a 146-year old church, 85-degrees, no a/c, with 24 bridal party members who were referenced 3 times in the deacon's homily, specifically for alcohol consumption, after the wine at Cana Gospel reading. Fast-forward to the reception. I'm literally seated on the dance floor, side/center, a perfect location for one who despises dancing and doesn't drink and drive. Yada yada yada, we left shortly after choking on a cold, tough piece of chicken washed down with authentically bad Philly water. CONCLUSION: The Wedding Mass is Sacrament. The Wedding Reception is Sacrilegious (synonyms: profane, blasphemous, impious, sinful, irreverent, irreligious, unholy, disrespectful). Do I hear an "Amen"?
July 9, 2015
CHEERS to Uncle Jimbo's 40th Anniversary of full-time employment. Well whoop-de-doo!
July 8, 2015
RIP to legendary Oakland Raiders QB Kenny Stabler (fellow lefty) at the age of 69.
June 16, 2015
JEERS to the Philadelphia Phillies as they concluded an 0-8 road trip, their worst since 1883, in which they were outscored 51-14 and outhomered 17-1. The Orioles nipped the hapless Phils tonight 19-3.
June 16, 2015
CONGRATS to former 76er Andre Iguodala on capturing the NBA Championship & MVP Award as the Warriors beat the crippled Cavaliers 4 games to 2 in one of the ugliest NBA Finals in recent history. Perhaps the real MVP of the series should have been Celtics thug Kelly Olynyk for dislocating Cavalier Kevin Love's shoulder in May.

STATS SUMMARY on LeFraud James:
-Now has a 2-4 record in 6 NBA Finals. Well travelled veteran. In fact, constantly travelling.
-Should be 1-5 if not for Ray Allen's miraculous shot in Game 6 of the 2013 Finals.
-If you or I handled the ball 80% of the time, and we took 80% of the shots, then we too would have averaged 35 points, 13 rebounds, and 8 assists per game. He ended up missing a record-whopping 118 shots....in only 6 games. 20 missed shots per game average. Most of them vintage bricks.

FOR THE RECORD, the NBA continues to be the most embarrassing "professional" sports league in the USA with blind referees allowing tattooed thugs to constantly travel, flop, carry the ball, and argue every foul up and down the court whilst pretending to be coached by an underpaid idiot in a suit and tie. I don't fault the ABC & ESPN analysts. They get paid to promote a pathetic league that's been dead since the Magic-Bird era. They're not idiots. They're actors.

The NBA's Official Logo of Jerry West will now be changed to LeFraud's schlong that was exposed on national tv in the huddle before Game 4 to the horror of little boys and girls all over the world. This new logo most represents the league.

Introducing the Mount Rushmore of The Worst NBA Travelers of All-Time who thru years of incompetence officially legalized the violations of traveling, carrying the ball, multiple pivot feet, and other non-fundamental basketball moves that WE all had to adhere to 40 years ago. Pictured are LeFraud, Kobe, Pierce and Jordan. Thanks for ruining the game dillweeds.

June 15, 2015
CONGRATS to former Flyer Kimmo Timonen on finally capturing the Stanley Cup Championship with the Chicago Blackhawks on this his 17th and final season in the NHL.
May 20, 2015
FAREWELL to talk show host David Letterman after an illustrious 41-year career.
RIP to Late Night Talk Shows in general, quite the end of an era. Might as well start getting some sleep.
May 14, 2015
RIP to the King of the Blues, BB King, at the age of 89.
March 30, 2015
Happy 70th Birthday Eric Clapton, arguably the most influential musician of the past 5 decades.
February 28, 2015
RIP Radio Shack and their fine line of Tandy & Realistic products since 1921.
February 13, 2015
HOW IRONIC, Black History Month has now featured the Jackie Robinson Little League Team in Chicago getting stripped of their 2014 U.S. Championship due to cheating. ALSO, of all the Philadelphia Eagles to be featured in February on the team calendar, Riley Cooper, infamous for his black slur at a Kenny Chesney concert. Sometimes irony can be pretty ironic.
February 8, 2015
GRAMMY HACK ALERT: After admittedly stealing Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down" melody and now paying Tom 12.5% of the royalties for "Stay With Me", Sam Smith wins 4 Grammy Awards...anyway. Thus is the state of the Music Industry.
JEERS to Kanye West who once again solidified his classless moronic reputation by AGAIN protesting the "Album of the Year" Grammy won by Beck this year (and Taylor Swift a few years ago) proclaiming the curvacious Beyonce should have won. Once a prick, always a prick. CHEERS, however, to Beck for taking the high road and allowing West to be a prick.
February 1, 2015
HILARIOUS: The New England Belicheats beat the Seattle Dreadlocks 28-24 after the worst play call in modern sports history ends Toilet Bowl 49. *Deflate-gate to boot. Have a nice summer Pete. Atsa shame.
January 18, 2015
RIP to CSN&Y and Manassas drummer Dallas Taylor at the age of 66.
January 5, 2015
CHEERS to Uncle Jimbo's 20th Anniversary of being cancer-free.
January 11, 2015
Packers 26, Cowgirls 21 - Poetic Justice, Instant Karma, Perfect Payback, Live by Bad Calls + Die by Bad Calls = TOO BAD. NJ Governor Chris Christie, spotted on TV 15 times last Sunday in the Dallas luxury booth, was not spotted once by Fox Sports today in Green Bay. That's really hard to believe considering he's visible at any given moment on Weather.com's Dopplar Radar.
January 4, 2015
JEERS to the atrocity in Dallas today as 6 refs overlooked 3 penalties within one play to gift the Cowgirls a playoff victory over the Lions before a mortified national TV audience. The Office of the NFL Officials have since apologized for the "error".

January 4, 2015
RIP to ESPN Sportscaster Stuart Scott at the age of 49.
January 1, 2015
RIP to actress Donna Douglas, aka Elly Mae Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies, at the age of 81.
December 27, 2014
SET A NEW RECORD today for the latest mowing of the lawn. 55 degrees & sunny.
December 22, 2014
RIP to English rhythm & blues singer Joe Cocker at the age of 70.
December 14, 2014
RIP to NJ Governor Chris Christie's political career, including presidential aspirations in 2016. After hob-nobbing in the Dallas Cowboys luxury booth in Philly with the current #1 sports owner prick, Jerry Jones (was #2 before the passing of Yankees owner George Steinbrenner), NY, NJ, PA and a nationally televised audience will now choose between Jeb & Hillary. What a Dillweed.

October 25, 2014
RIP to Cream bassist & vocalist Jack Bruce at the age of 71. A sad, sad day for the Cream nation.
I last saw Jack at Madison Square Garden 9 years to the day on October 25, 2005 for the historical Cream Reunion.
October 6, 2014
RIP to longtime Philly sports broadcaster Bill Campbell at the age of 91. Bill called such legendary games as the Eagles 1960 Championship, Wilt's 100-point game in 1962, and of course the Phillies' great collapse of 1964. He was also an outstanding Lector at Christ the King parish in historic Haddonfield, NJ.
September 25, 2014
CHEERS to the Baltimore Orioles pitchers who provided a few "big, slow-pitch meatballs" that allowed Derek Jeter, in his last game in the Bronx, to begin and end a meaningless game with a Hollywood script. Class act those Orioles.
September 24, 2014
70 wins - 72 losses: NY Yankees record with Jeter in the lineup this year.
11 wins - 5 losses: NY Yankees record without Jeter in the lineup this year.
Jeter's HOF credentials if he was a Blue Jay the past 20 years: Questionable.
$227 million dollar Yankees miss the playoffs again: Priceless.
September 4, 2014
RIP to pioneering comedienne Joan Rivers at the age of 81. The Mrs. still loves your earring set.
August 31, 2014
CHEERS to MLB's 286th no-hitter thrown today (only the 11th combined) and the first combined no-no in Phillies franchise history. In a 7-0 victory over the Braves at Turner Field, Cole Hamels threw six innings before Jake Diekman, Ken Giles and Jonathan Papelbon finished the game. The highlight of an otherwise dull season for the last place Phils.
August 18, 2014
RIP Don Pardo, legendary radio & television announcer (SNL & many game shows) at the age of 96.
August 12, 2014
RIP to legendary actress of Hollywood's Golden era Lauren Bacall at the age of 89.
August 11, 2014
RIP to fellow Toyota Prius owner Robin Williams at the age of 63.
I was more a fan of his dramatic acting than his coked-out & profanity-laced Jonathan Winters wannabee bits.
July 21, 2014
CONGRATS to Weird Al Yankovic, the Prince of Parodies,
for capturing the #1 spot on Billboard's Top 100 Albums:

July 15, 2014
JEERS to MLB on not even mentioning Tony Gwynn's passing during their bloated All Star Game broadcast. All attention was on another Yankee checkbook-made all-star, Derek Jeter, master womanizer and arguably mediocre if he was an Oriole or Blue Jay the past 2 decades. CHEERS to the fan in Minnesota who could be heard on live TV uttering the chant, "Over-rated, 1,2,3-4-5" during Jeter's first at bat in which he ended up doubling on an admitted meatball issued by Cardinal's pitcher Adam Wainwright. Great to see new Dodger sensation Yasiel Puig strike out in all 3 at bats the day after getting goose-egged in the home run derby. Atsa shame. CHEERS to Mike Trout on his MVP selection, the NJ native is a heckuva great player.
July 8, 2014
CHEERS to being dismissed from Jury Duty today! Spared! Joy to the World! Boo-yah!
June 27, 2014
CHEERS to the last-place Phillies broadcaster Tom McCarthy who achieved the absolute impossible feat never before done in the history of Major League Baseball: While broadcasting the Phillies-Braves game from the center field bleachers, Tom caught the home run ball hit by the Braves' Freddie Freeman. The odds of this event don't exist. Since day 1 broadcasters call 99.99% of games from behind home plate in the press box. This was a one-off special event. Simply & truly incredible.

June 17, 2014
Triple RIP's today: MLB Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn at the age of 54, 4-time Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers coach Chuck Noll at the age of 82, and legendary radio personality Casey Kasem (American Top 40) also at the age of 82.
June 15, 2014
CONGRATS to the San Antonio Spurs for winning their 5th NBA Championship since 1999 over the hapless Miami Heat 4 games to 1. They set an NBA Finals record by winning by an average of 14ppg. Note: If not for Ray Allen's 3-point desperation shot in Game 6 last year, LeFraud James would have a 1-4 NBA Finals record, par for the course for this classless, egocentric, tattoed high school graduate (he did graduate, didn't he?).
June 13, 2014
CHEERS to the LA KINGS for capturing their 2nd Stanley Cup in 3 years.
They're the first team ever to win 3 Game 7's (all on the road) en route to this incredible feat.

April 6, 2014
RIP to Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney at the age of 93.
April 1, 2014
CHEERS to New Jersey's New Crackdown on Distracted Driving (Cell Phone Idiots with loaded dumbphones) .
March 18, 2015
RIP to percussionist & drummer Joe Lala (Stephen Stills, Manassas) at the age of 66.
March 15, 2014
RIP to Philadelphia-born comic David Brenner at the age of 78.
February 14, 2014
RIP former Angel & Met MLB player and Phillies manager Jim Fregosi at the age of 71.
February 12, 2014
RIP comic and American TV pioneer Sid Ceasar at the age of 91.
February 10, 2014
RIP actress Shirley Temple at the age of 85.
February 6, 2014
HAPPY TRAILS to Jay Leno who will host his 4,610th and final Tonight Show tonight, concluding a fabulous 22-year run in which he used only 2 sick days and graciously welcomed me and the Three Tendons to his stage on 2/15/01.
February 2, 2014
RIP actor Philip Seymour Hoffman at the age of 46, a tortured soul who finally succumbed to the needle.
RIP also to the Denver Broncos, victims of a 43-8 Super Bowl thrashing at the hands of the Seattle Seahawks.
CONGRATS to the city of Seattle on their first major sports championship since the '79 Supersonics.
January 25, 2014
GREAT to hear from Holmes today, glad he's doing well. To quote defrocked Pastor Bob Palmer, "God is good--owl the tam".
January 19, 2014
RIP New England Patriots (losing to the Broncos 26-16), former Super Bowl champions in 2002, 2004 & 2005, and now haven't won anything in 9 years since being busted for "SpyGate" in 2006, the illegal filming of opponents spear-headed by Hall of Shame coach Bill Belicheat. They should be stripped of those rings. They're as guilty & classless as A-Roid.
January 16, 2014
RIP actor Russell Johnson, aka "The Professor" on Gilligan's Island, at the age of 89.
January 11, 2014
CHEERS to Major League Baseball for enforcing a 162-game suspension on New York Yankee Alex "A-Roid" Rodriguez, who has had every performance-enhancing drug except Midol injected into his system during his career in which he has earned over $375 million dollars. This year he will lose $25 million. Poor guy.
January 3, 2014
JEERS to the ongoing debacle-of-a-website,
ObamaCare (just click on the Apply Now button),
originally budgeted for $93 million, now costing over $634 million
after 3 years of constructing and 20+ programmers.
Heck, I could've done THAT for less than $3 million!

January 2, 2014
BP = 122/80 at my primary doctor's office. First cold in 6 years. Snot bad!
January 1, 2014
HAPPY NEW YEAR'S QUOTES outsourced for your inspiration:
1. "The source of all your problems may be found in the mirror." -Traditional
2. "If your head is made of wax, don't walk in the sun." -Poor Richard's Almanac
3. "You are the end product and result of every decision you've made in your life." -P.A., Anaheim, CA
4. "When you point one finger, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you."-(aka Jesus' speck and the log example)
5. "Surround yourself with people who add to you, not subract, who are a blessing, not a curse." -M.M., Dallas, TX
December 8, 2013
CHEERS to Shady McCoy who set a Philadelphia Eagles franchise record with 217 yards rushing today in beating Detroit 34-20 in 8 inches of snow. Speaking of 8 inches, JEERS to all 3 major Philly news stations for all predicting "a coating to 1 inch of snow today". Nice technology dillweed "meteorologists"!
December 4, 2013
JEERS once again to the "City of Brotherly Love", aka Philadelphia, where a fight broke out on live TV at "Love Park" during the annual Christmas Tree lighting ceremony. These are the same morons who booed Santa Claus 40 years ago and pelted him with snowballs from the upper deck of Veteran's Stadium.
December 1, 2013
JEERS once again to the modern-day Sodom & Gomorrah known as Camden, NJ.
RIP Corporal Tim Loper, 27, who was married with a 6-year-old daughter, had served a tour in Afghanistan
and finished four years of duty in April 2012. Today Tim was murdered in Camden, NJ trying to break up a fight. Survived the War. Killed in Camden.
November 16, 2013
24 out of 25 since June 1st, quite an achievement. 116/83 to boot, well done!
November 13, 2013
CHEERS to the bumper sticker on the truck in front of me on the way to work today:
November 11, 2013
CHEERS to the rediscovery of Coupons, and for of all things, a 3lb. bag of onions, regular $2.49 for $1.48, enough to make one cry. I hadn't cut out a coupon in quite a while during a recent period of flushing hard-earned cash down the toilet, but PTL, I found my scissors! Combined with a recent celery increase at the job, cheers to the season of soups, stews & stuffing.
November 1, 2013
CHEERS to the quote of the year from a Fire Chief at a staff meeting:
"People choose to store $300 worth of junk in the garage and a $30,000 car in the driveway".
October 30, 2013
CHEERS and congratulations to Shane Victorino (2008 Phillies) and John Lackey (2002 Angels) on their second World Series Championship, this time around with the worst-to-first 2013 Boston Red Sox. HAPPY TRAILS to Tim McCarver, longtime MLB broadcaster and player on his retirement from FOX Sports at the age of 72. A class act, we all benefited from Tim's play by play and analysis since 1985 and remember his World Series appearances as a catcher in 1964, 1967, and 1968.
October 5, 2013
Happy 111th Birthday to South Philly's very own Larry Fine (born Louis Feinberg), the "Stooge in the Middle"!
CHEERS to the last 3 weeks of BP readings: 121/82, 121/81, 115/82. Great progress since the 141/93 on 8/17/13.
Can't imagine why. Oh, now I remember...it was a case of a salt and battery. So my Doc says, "The proof is in the pudding. Therefore, avoid the pudding." Brilliant, what a concept.
September 27, 2013
CHEERS to the wonders of Ginkgo Biloba (as recommended by and taken daily by my Asian & Indian doctors for mental sharpness) and Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (with the Mother) as prescribed by Hippocrates as a supreme detox agent, anti-inflammatory and weight control product. Having both of these in my shopping cart this morning and keeping an ongoing tally of the approximate total for checkout, I figured I had "$70 minus a $5 coupon" on the belt. The cashier says, "Wow, $70 exactly!" Then deducts the coupon and proves the concept on the above, natural wonders. I'm usually within a buck or two, sometimes within a dime, but nailed it today at 7:15am. Try 'em, you'll like 'em! Hipp, Hipp, Hippocrates!
September 25, 2013
CHEERS to the 12th anniversary of graduating Chubb, a memorable day that began with the usual walk, crunches and weights before tuna on whole wheat. Turned cassettes into CD's and VHS tapes into DVD's at work and THEN scored a 2157 in a 3-round game of ScrabbleBlast with NO EXCHANGES, a virgin 2000 game, first in 8 years!
September 23, 2013
CHEERS to the streak now infamously known as "The Sweet Sixteen" that lasted from June 1 thru September 14, book-ended by a May 25th wedding debacle and a September 22nd Bridal Shower--oddly enough. All winning streaks must come to an end and to quote the late, great George Harrison, "All things must pass".
September 10, 2013
RIP Cal Worthington, age 92, legendary car dealer in Southern California. "If you need a better car, go see Cal!".
September 9, 2013
CHEERS to talk show host Arsenio Hall who returns to network TV tonight after a 2-decade absence. The last time I was in Hollywood, I walked Hollywood Blvd.'s Walk of Fame. Admiring the stars of such legends as John Wayne, Bob Hope, Lucille Ball and George Burns, I stumbled upon Arsenio Hall's star. Turns out ANYONE with $30,000 can buy one.
September 1, 2013
BREAKING NEWS...for the first time since 1984 the temperature in the month of August
did not exceed the 89 degree mark in Philadelphia, PA. Global Cooling?
August 28, 2013
CHEERS to the Summer of Silent Film Appreciation (viewed 50+, mostly featuring the creative genius of
Sir Charles Chaplin and Buster Keaton. Their full-length feature classic films are a must view for all movie buffs.
August 19, 2033
SHAAZZAM! According to the Nostradamus Chronicles, I do indeed wake up on this date and actually cater a family reunion, with everyone in attendance, with a menu of Roast Pork Loin, Red Cabbage and Apples, Brown Rice, and Whole Wheat Pumpkin Walnut Raisin Bread with the finest Spanish El Prado Tempranillo wine. Yippee!
August 18, 2033
RIP evidently to me, my family, and I, set to expire on this date like an old carton of milk as prophesied
by the prophet Isaiah, I mean the prophet Jeremiah--my error, just a nameless, anonymous false prophet, profit.
Fast-Forward 20 years...
August 17, 2013
BP=141/93. Can't imagine why.
July 21, 2013
CHEERS to fellow Lefty, Phil Mickleson, on winning the British Open PGA golf tournament with a brilliant 66 after birdying 4 of the last 6 holes in the final round. The $1.4 million dollar payday wasn't too shabby either.
June 21, 2013
JEERS and RIP to the San Antonio Spurs for completing the biggest-choke-surrender-of-an-NBA Championship Title in the history of this worthless league full of wealthy whiners and floppers. Bad coaching, poor free throw shooting and bad rebounding have now Merry Christmased the title to a tattooed punk rocker and a balding, classless high school chump who perennially leads the league in non-called traveling violations. Congrats to Ray Allen, a class act, whose 3-pointer in Game 6 bailed out LeFraud's brick when it really counted. Have a nice summer Pop.
June 2, 2013
RIP to the wonderful actress Jean Stapleton (Edith Bunker) at the age of 90.
May 21, 2013
RIP Ray Manzarek, legendary keyboardist of The Doors, at the age of 74.
May 14, 2013
RIP Dr. Joyce Brothers, age 85, author, columnist, psychologist & master of good advice.
April 23, 2013
CHEERS to Joe Scarborough, a North Carolina man who rolled the first 900 series in PBA history.
3 straight perfect games. 36 consecutive strikes. Holy Mackerel Batman!
April 22, 2013
RIP folk singer Richie Havens, 1st performer at Woodstock, at the age of 72.
April 20, 2013
BREAKING NEWS...A powerful 6.6 magnitude earthquake struck the Sichuan province of China on Saturday, killing nearly 200 people and injured thousands in the same region where a 2008 quake took nearly 90,000 lives.
What a coincidence: cyber bullies from Mianyang, Sichuan, China proudly took credit for hacking into my Email account & other slanderous cheap shots last October. Thus, I'll gladly take credit for Saturday's earthquake via Divine Intervention, having grown up near the San Andreas fault in CA. My bad. My fault. Cheers! Need a broom?
April 16, 2013
RIP Pat Summerall, former NFL player and "The Voice of the NFL" broadcaster at the age of 82.
April 12, 2013
RIP legendary comedian and master of improv Jonathan Winters at the age of 87.
April 8, 2013
RIP former British PM Margaret Thatcher at the age of 87, and actress Annette Funicello at the age of 70.
March 27, 2013
THANK YOU to the Chicago Bulls for ending the 27-game winning streak of the Miami Heat, thereby keeping sacred the 33-game winning streak of the 1971-72 Los Angeles Lakers. I witnessed game 25 of the Lakers streak in person as they beat the 76ers 154-132 at the LA Forum.
March 6, 2013
RIP Alvin Lee, legendary blues guitarist of Ten Years After fame, at the age of 68.
February 14, 2013
ONLY on Valentine's Day: Warren Buffett has purchased the Heinz Company for 23.3 billion dollars.
I assume Heinz couldn't ketchup on their bills, but for Mr. Buffett, it's a great transaction in heinzsite.

February 11, 2013
MORE BREAKING NEWS...Pope Benedict XVI to resign by the end of the month due to failing health! Becomes first pope to resign in almost 600 years! The favorite to replace him is an Italian Cardinal from Milan. We will however miss the historical reign of a German pope, albeit a term that lasted less than 8 years.
Let us pray that the next Pope is not a


All: Lord, hear our prayer.

February 9, 2013

BREAKING NEWS...Earlier this week on Action News it was reported that Philadelphia had received snow 7 of the past 9 days for a total of 1.1 inches. Today we were bombarded with 2.5 inches of snow. Unfortunately, the New England region had in excess of 2 feet of snow as evidenced by the photo to the right.

February 3, 2013
CHEERS to Audubon, NJ's Joe Flacco and the Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens.
Thank you to the blind ref in the end zone at the end of the game who kept things in tact.
February 1, 2013
JEERS to the Chinese Hackers who not only hacked into Wall Street's system, but hacked into one of David Letterman's cue cards last night. It totally ruined Dave's monologue, disOriented him, and wasted 2 minutes. Fart-knockers!
January 28, 2013
RIP to Sally Starr at the age of 90.
RIP to the 230+ killed in the Brazilian Night Club fire.
January 27, 2013
Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and forever. Have you noticed how religious zealots promoting "allah" go about wreaking havoc to advertise their cult & cause? Would you buy a can of tuna from a cashier with a gun? I didn't think so. Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." -John 14:6
January 10, 2013
JEERS continue for the steroidal meatheads shutout of MLB's Hall of Fame. First-timers needing 75% to be inducted include Roger Clemens 37.6%, 7 Cy Youngs (most all-time), Barry Bonds 36.2%, 7 MVP's (most all-time), Sammy Sosa 12.5%, famous for corking & roids. Rejected for the 7th year is Mark McGwire, an all-time low of 16.9%.
January 7, 2013
CHEERS to the return of NHL Hockey! Better late than never, the NBA continues to be absolutely unwatchable.
January 2, 2013
RIP to legendary singer Patti Page at the age of 85. One of the very first Manualist video demos I ever produced was Patti's hit "How Much is That Doggy in the Window?". Hey, it's ruff being a Manualist.
December 27, 2012
CHEERS to an all Seafood day: tuna 4 breakfast, salmon 4 lunch, tilapia creole 4 dinner, quite the efishent anti-holiday diet.
December 25, 2012
RIP legendary actor Jack Klugman at the age of 90 (Odd Couple, Quincy & several Twilight Zones).
December 21, 2012
A MOMENT OF SILENCE at 9:30am observed today in memory of the Sandy Hook victims.
In other news, Walmart has sold out of all its guns & rifles in dozens of states. Yes, we're much safer now.
December 15, 2012
CHEERS to spending an evening with Kenny G, arguably to world's greatest sax player. If he hit 4 million notes that night, I couldn't find 2 that were wrong, he was that good.
December 14, 2012
RIP 20 First Graders and 6 adults in the Sandy Hook, CT massacre. 244 mass murders since Columbine in 1999, nothing learned, nothing changed. We have met the enemy....and the enemy is US. Welcome to America, Home of the Armed where housewives can buy military sniper rifles and their mentally derailed sons can express themselves with them.
December 7, 2012
CHEERS to the 7.3 magnitude earthquake in Japan, on this, the 71st Anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Missed it by that much.
November 16, 2012
JEERS and Congratulations are in order for Camden, NJ on executing their 59th homicide of the year, a new record eclipsing the old 1995 record! Too bad Super Storm Sandy narrowly missed Camden---would've caused a half-million dollars worth of improvements. Still 6 weeks left in the year to add on to this wonderful record.
November 12, 2012
CHEERS to Mike Trout, the pride of Millville, NJ on being named MLB American League Rookie of the Year.
November 11, 2012
RIP to the 2012 Philadelphia Eagles, a 3-6 nightmare of a dream team. Before QB Michael Vick left the game in the first half with a concussion, did anyone notice commentator Troy Aikmen saying, "Vick is really getting battered and bruised..." Well, what goes around comes around, eh? Get well soon dawg.
November 6, 2012
RIP to the USA's last hope of ever having a Mormon president. My condolences to Utah and Idaho.
Atsa shame, I must adMITT Romney had quite the CULT following, go figure.
October 30, 2012
RIP to the 100+ and counting victims of Hurricane Sandy that hammered the East Coast.
As described to the Cream Forum folks from LA to London, here's my take:
10:30pm Monday October 29th: The skies were angry that night my friends, like an old man returning soup at a deli. The Mrs. informed me our bedroom screen had flown off onto the roof. I unlocked the window, anchored myself to the bedroom floor, braved the 70mph gusts, reached strainingly onto the roof, raised my fist to Sandy, and took back my screen...unharmed. My hair however was a mess. That was my Captain Ahab / Moby Dick moment. All is well. It's good to be near the "eye" evidently as the worst rains hit south, the worst winds hit north....of the "eye".
October 18, 2012
RIP 2012 Bronx Bummers, swept in a 7-game series for the first time since the '76 World Series. The evil empire never had a lead in their dismal effort against the Tigers this past week. Over 2 and 1/2 billion dollars spent over the past 13 years and their gaudy payroll has only purchased them 1 championship, that over the brainless 2009 Phillies. Behold their playoff stats:

October 5, 2012
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Picasso, Larry Fine and yours truly. I celebrated by arranging a Septoplasty surgery to repair a badly deviated septum (10% airflow the past 3 decades with countless sinus infections) performed by ENT Dr. Gabriel Wong of Marlton, NJ.
30-DAY UPDATE: Dr. Wong admits that our body parts tend to grow back to the way they were, i.e. the deviated sinus.
4.5-YEAR UPDATE: April 2017 and the sinus is worse than ever. Perhaps Dr. Wong could have mentioned this about $5,000 dollars ago. Live and learn people.
August 21, 2012
RIP Phyllis Diller at 95, William Windom at 88, Scott "San Francisco" MacKenzie at 73, and Ron "Horshack" Pilillo at 63.
August 20, 2012
CHEERS to Ginko Biloba, Thanks to my Asian & Indian doctors, I'm now a genius after taking it for only 1 week!
JEERS to Melky Cabrera, just another ex-yankee busted by MLB for illegal drug use (testosterone)
and trying to cover it up with a fake website (purchase), darn near lower than A-Roid lying on national TV.
In addition, the NL now has home field advantage in the World Series thanks to Melky's "MVP" "performance"
in the All-Star game. Another sad, dirty and tainted product of New York. Thatsa darn shame crying over spilt Melk.
August 2, 2012
USA 156, Nigeria 73. Nothing more entertaining than professional millionaires destroying amateur third world countries in Olympic "competition". Thank goodness these pathetic games are only held every 4 years.
July 31, 2012
In a thrilling Olympic "basketball game", USA 110, Tunisia 63. C'mon, pick on somebody your own size!
Oh, no amateurs here ARE your size. Congrats to the NBA millionaires for this great achievement. Pong anyone?
July 25, 2012
RIP actors Sherman Hemsley at 74 and Chad Everett at 75.
July 23, 2012
CHEERS to the NCAA for fining Penn State $60 million with a 4-year Bowl ban, 80+ scholarships lost, and vacating victories from 1998-2011. JEERS to the Penn State community folks who "still don't get it". Rewording should have been in order when announcing that PSU was PENALized with some of the STIFFEST sanctions in an ANALS of college sports history.
July 20, 2012
RIP to the 12 victims of the Colorado Batman massacre. JEERS to the USA for continuing to allow these idiots to legally purchase massive amounts of guns and ammunition to carry out these unspeakable crimes.
July 3, 2012
RIP legendary TV actor Andy Griffith at the age of 86.
June 14, 2012: Jim, today's your 15th Wedding Anniversary. Buy the good roses. -Thanks, Jim.
June 11, 2012
CHEERS to the LA KINGS for finally capturing Lord Stanley's Cup! The 45-year wait is OVER!
CONGRATS to ex-Flyers Mike Richards, Jeff Carter & Simon Gagne as the Kings knocked off the top 3 seeds in the West and a Devils team who knocked off the Rangers & Flyers. Amazing run led by a phenominal goalie Jonathan Quick.
June 10, 2012
RIP actor Frank Cady, aka Sam Drucker of Petticoat Junction & Green Acres fame at the age of 96.
May 22, 2012
JEERS to the yearly playoff reminder of how the NBA died over 20 years ago with the departure of Magic & Bird, after-which "Air Jordan" proceeded to legalize palming and traveling in the midst of incompetence, and here we are today: 3-point line shortened, zone defense allowed, traveling rampant, flopping actors and bricks galore heaved my unskilled players, the most dangerous ironically named "World Peace". RIP NBA, the most embarrassing and unwatchable of all the major sports.
May 13, 2012
RIP to legendary bassist Donald "Duck" Dunn at the age of 70.
May 7, 2012
RIP to actor George "Goober" Lindsey at the age of 83.
April 19, 2012
RIP to the legendary drummer for The Band, Levon Helm, at the age of 71.
April 18, 2012
RIP to the legendary Dick Clark at the age of 82. He will be missed, yet always remembered.
Mr. Clark autographed this backstage at my "Donny & Marie Show" taping in February, 1999.

March 6, 2012
RIP John Belushi on the 30th Anniversary of your passing away far too soon at the age of 33.
March 2, 2012
CHEERS to the 50th Anniversary of Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game!
February 29, 2012
RIP Davy Jones of the Monkees at the age of 66.
February 25, 2012
CONGRATS to the 10-year anniversary of the Office Manager for one of the finest churches in SJ since retiring from the Foodservice Management industry in 2000 after 25 illustrious years. Gone is the "secretary" title with its nail files, gossip and novels. Now are the ever-demanding Quickbooks, JavaScript, Webmastering, and Office package skills necessary for this 6-figure salary job (well, if you add up the last 10 years combined). Truly the most peaceful decade of this Manualist's life.
There were however, some areas of concern of the past decade:
-Declining attendance and the consolodation/reduction of churches.
-The growing number of lawsuits involving the priest abuse sex scandals nationwide.
-Statistics showing <25% Catholic school families actually attend and support their church.
-Statistics showing widows are 5-10 times more generous to the church than doctors. Very sad.
Does the $5 weekly "tithe" really indicate yearly net earnings of $2,600? Doc shoulda been a dishwasher! Wrong calling!

February 12, 2012
Grammy Award-winning gospel diva marries rapper, becomes drug addict trainwreck, dies broke at 48. Sad, but predictable.
February 5, 2012
HORROR OF HORRORS...a 9-7 team whose coach was nearly fired this year has won the Super Bowl. A predictable ending to a year that started out with a lockout. CHEERS to the 4th Super Bowl loss for the Patriots, well done!
MADONNA & I finally have something in common--neither of us has sung at the Super Bowl!
February 2, 2012
RIP legendary boxing trainer Angelo Dundee at the age of 90.
JEERS to 74 dead in Egypt after a another soccer match riot.
February 1, 2012
Katholic Kervorkian Kaper? 10 days after death silences Joe Pa, death now silences Cardinal Anthony Bevilacqua one day after a judge declared him competent to testify on the Archdiocese of Philadelphia priest sex scandal with 60+ priests and 500+ children left hanging. Next court appearance still on though: The Great White Throne Judgement.
January 22, 2012
RIP Joe Paterno at the age of 85.
JEERS to a memorable day in sports history with the term "goat" re-defined in Frisco via 2 muffed punt returns and in Frisco with a dropped TD pass and a missed 31-yard chip-shot field goal.
January 18, 2012
Obvious JEERS from today's Inquirer:

December 25, 2011: Santa Claus has the right idea...visit people once a year.

December 14, 2011
CHEERS to the NTSB calling for a complete ban on cell phone use in CARS, whether yakking or texting or bluetooth.
It's about time. You may now resume texting behind home plate at Yankee Stadium. You won't miss a thing!
December 9, 2011
JEERS to the ongoing Shawshank Scandal in the Philadelphia School District as yet another top HR official, Estelle G. Matthews, was escorted out of her office for inappropriately awarding raises to "certain individuals" while the district was laying off employees and contemplating further academic cuts. How many more cockroaches will be uncovered?
December 8, 2011
CHEERS to a Phillies-Angels World Series in 2012 via $331 million spent by the Angels in less than 2 hours!
CHEERS to Tim McGarver on his induction into Baseball's Hall of Fame as a broadcaster. Well done!
RIP Harry Morgan, of M*A*S*H and Dragnet fame, at the age of 96.

December 5, 2011
RIP Alan Sues of "Laugh-In" fame at the age of 85.
CONGRATS to Tiger Woods on his first PGA win in over 2 years since violating the penal code repeatedly for a number of years with a number of different bee-otches. Wonder if Herman Cain will ever recover from his penal violations?
December 2, 2011
RIP fellow comic Marilyn Martinez at the age of 52.
RIP to the 4-8 Philadelphia Eagles, "dream team" turned nightmare.
RIP to ex-Eagle QB Donovan McNabb's career, just waived by the 2-9 Vikings.
CONGRATS to Arlene Ackerman, officially voted "Weasel of the Week" by Philly's WIP Sportstalk radio.
November 30, 2011
JEERS to Arlene Ackerman, fired Superintendent of Philadelphia Schools, who just applied for Unemployment Benefits after receiving a $1 million buyout in August. She'll now rake in $573 per week in accordance with the $348,000 salary she once had. Makes one wonder about the other Philly rejects that have sought refuge in NJ. Power to the broads! You've come a long way baby, to get where you got to today. You've got your own cigarette now baby, you've come a long, long way!
November 28, 2011
JEERS once again to the city of Camden, NJ, formerly voted the #1 most dangerous city in the country, still a top 10 yearly slum. Last month 2 folks were robbed at gunpoint during a "peace walk" in Camden going from church to church. Currently they can't decorate the main streets with holiday lights due to 30+ lamp posts either destroyed, removed, or have had the copper gutted for money. Wonderful, Jersey's darn proud of you.
November 20, 2011
CHEERS to the 0-10 Colts who didn't lose this weekend! They were bye.
November 18, 2011
CHEERS & BEST WISHES to the legendary Regis Philbin, retiring today after a magnificent career!

November 17, 2011
CONGRATS to the Rays' Joe Maddon & D-Backs' Kirk Gibson on being named AL & NL Managers of the Year!
November 16, 2011
CHEERS to finally losing the Pennsauken Schools webmaster account. Food tastes better, air is fresher, Inbox much cleaner.
This year alone Pennsauken has bid farewell to their Mayor, Superintendent of Schools, Personnel Director, Business Manager, newspaper editor, and now yours truly in an effort to solidify their goal of being "Camden with lawns".
On my end, they've since gone to a microscopic black & white website with a zillion broken links and 1x1 photos, but the customer is always right. Right? BTW, my yearly stipend was less than what the new Super makes in 6 days!
November 10, 2011
ADIOS Bad Samaritan Joe Paterno whose legacy is now buried under the Good Samaritan Law (see last Seinfeld episode).
PSU's Beaver Stadium will now be called Dick Trickle Stadium (retired Nascar star) to fit the bill.
November 8, 2011
RIP former Heavyweight Champion Smokin' Joe Frazier at the age of 67.
RIP 2011 overpaid & poorly coached Philadelphia Eagles, a 3-5 "Dream Team".
RIP Penn State's Athletic Program. Coaching young men, molesting young boys. Congrats, you've outdone the Vatican.
October 28, 2011
CHEERS to Day 120 of the NBA Lockout, the best thing to happen to American sports since their last lockout!
October 28, 2011
RIP Texas Rangers: 1 strike away TWICE & 3 blown saves in Game 6 against the Charlie Manual-enabled Cardinals.
2 World Series' lost in a row. Well done, have a nice winter Cowgirl fans!
October 25, 2011
CHEERS to the 6-year anniversary of CREAM's reunion at Madison Square Garden. Shared the event with, among others, David Letterman, Paul Schaefer, Sheryl Crow and Larry David.
October 22. 2011
JEERS to Albert Poo-Holes, master of swinging-for-the-fences-but-don't-start-running-until-you-admire-the-possibility-of-a-home run, thus he leads the league in singles off the wall. Elects not to speak to the media if he has a bad game...someday the Roid investigation will discredit all his bloated numbers...and head...and neck. But he'll remain overpaid.
October 7, 2011
RIP 2011 Phillies, a wall-to-wall $178million bust. Fond memories of those 2008 $90million Phils who won it all with a pitching rotation of Hamels, Meyers, Blanton & Moyer. Hamels was the only "ace" not to lose in the 2011 playoffs.
October 6, 2011
RIP 2011 Yankees, just one championship purchased in the last 11 years despite spending over $2 billion. Atsa shame.
September 29, 2011
CHEERS to arguably the most exciting night in the history of Major League Baseball with the nail-biting eliminations of the Bosox (record 9-game blown lead in Sept. by going 7-20), and the Braves (8 1/2 game blown lead in Sept.)
Here's a timeline of the night.
JEERS to jose reyes of the Muts for removing himself from the lineup after a cheap bunt single to secure the NL batting title by 4 percentage points. Woe to the team who picks up this weasel free agent next season. BUSH...LEAGUE.
September 23, 2011
RIP Dolores Hope at the age of 102 (2 more than Bob lived to).
JEERS to the Fading Phils, losers of 6 straight and counting, as they limp into the playoffs. J-Roll, Victorino & Utley combined to go 0-36 against the mighty Washington Nationals this week. Too bad they're not paid on commissions.
September 20, 2011
JEERS to and enough of the stupid Air Shows already with 2 more accidents this past weekend. One killed 9 spectators in Reno, the other just the pilot in West Virginia. WHEN will we learn?
September 17, 2011
RIP actress Frances Bay, 92, best known as Happy Gilmore's grandmother and the "Marble Rye Lady" on Seinfeld.
September 6, 2011
RIP former NHL veteran & Philadelphia Flyer Brad McCrimmon at the age of 52 who died with 42 others (the Russian hockey team he coached) in a tragic plane crash.
September 4, 2011
JEERS to MLB umpire Joe West for illegally turning a double into an out using MLB's "home run only" instant replay rule in a Phillies' loss to the Marlins. JEERS also to MLB for having no explanation.
August 31, 2011
CHEERS to all who will benefit from Michael Vick's $100 million contract:
August 25, 2011
JEERS to the process of ordering a sprinkler system. Ordered it June 30th, the day before the hottest month in the history of Philly, took 5 weeks to get a permit, finally installed August 25 at the end of the wettest month in the history of Philly topped off by Hurricane Irene. We'll see how it works next June...
August 23, 2011
CHEERS to the East Coast Earthquake, a "whopping" 5.8 centered somewhere in Virginia. Good to be reminded of the good ole days in Southern CA where I endured at least 2 dozen in 20 years.
August 16, 2011
CHEERS to Dave Mason, Mark Farner, Rick Derringer, Felix Cavaliere & Gary Wright for a tremendous HippieFest 2011 performance at the Keswick Theater in Glenside, PA. That was me 3rd row left.
August 15, 2011
CHEERS to MLB slugger Jim Thome on hitting his 600th home run, becoming only the 5th non-steroid user to reach this remarkable plateau behind Aaron, Ruth, Mays and Griffey, Jr.. Next stop Cooperstown, congrats Jim!
August 3, 2011
RIP Baltimore Colts football great and actor Bubba Smith at the age of 66.
August 2, 2011
JEERS once again to professional liar A-ROID, now involved in an illegal poker game complete with piles of cocaine and violence! This actually HELPS his reputation for steroid usage. Well done dillweed, typical New York product.
July 24, 2011
CHEERS to Bert "Be Home" Blyleven, finally inducted into Baseball's Hall of Fame in his 14th year of eligibility.
July 22, 2011
RIP to the 92 victims of the cowardly terrorist attack in Norway.
July 12, 2011
JEERS to JETER, MLB's over-rated sacred cow for going 5 for 5 Saturday and opting out of the All-Star game and appearance by dissing the fans who voted him in at the tune of a 1/2 million dollar bonus as he was "exhausted". Jeter, Rivera and Sabathia have declared themselves "bigger than the game". Well done classless chumps. And what about the guy who gave Jeter the 3,000th hit ball and getting nothing in return but $44,000 worth of Yankee tickets, a bat, and an IRS tax on said gifts to add on to his already $100,000 college debt! Steinbrenner would be proud.
July 7, 2011
RIP Hall of Fame tight end of the Baltimore Colts John Mackey at the age of 69
RIP Hall of Fame manager of the Oakland A's Dick Williams at the age of 82
June 30, 2011
CHEERS to Phils' pitcher Cliff Lee, who in the month of June went 5-0 with a .21 era and currently has a 32-inning scoreless streak going (27 behind Oral Herscheiser's record from 1988).
June 12, 2011
CHEERS to Dirk, the 2 Jasons and the NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks, a class organization, a solid 10-man team who prevailed over the classless, immature, and puffed up 3-boy team, aka the miami heat. Grow up LeFraud.
June 10, 2011
CHEERS to the NBA refs for FINALLY calling traveling and double dribbles on LeFraud James in a league that literally died decades ago with the retirements of Magic and Bird. 11 points in five NBA Finals 4th quarters...true colors.
June 3, 2011
JEERS to another crooked politician...Weiner's predickament.
May 25, 2011
CHEERS to Phillies utility man Wilson Valdez who became to first position player to be the winning pitcher in a game in which he started the game in the field in the Phils' 19-inning, 6hr & 8 minute 5-4 victory over the Reds. The last time this happened: October 1, 1921 by somebody named Babe Ruth.
May 17, 2011
RIP Hall of Fame slugger Harmon Killebrew of the Minnesota Twins at the age of 74. Killebrew hit 573 home runs during his 22-year career, 11th-most in major league history. His eight seasons with 40 or more homers still is tied for second in league history to Babe Ruth. Tovar, Carew, Allison and Killebrew, those were the days...
May 2, 2011
ROT IN HELL Osama bin Laden...it's about freakin' time.

April 12, 2011
JEERS to the chief of chumps, Manny Ramirez, who retired in disgrace before being issued a 100-game suspension for violating MLB's steroid policy AGAIN. Below he's been inducted in a special place for baseball's top liars & cheats:

March 30, 2011
CHEERS & HAPPY 66th BIRTHDAY to Eric Clapton, the greatest and most influential guitarist to walk the Earth.
Below is the birthday bash at my place with Sir Eric, Sheryl Crow and Yvonne Elliman:

March 20, 2011
RIP Conor Clapton, son of Eric, who tragically died 20 years ago today at the age of 4 1/2.
March 17, 2011
March 15, 2011
CHEERS to the rejuvenated Denver Nuggets who are 8-2 since getting rid of Carmelo Anthony and his huge ego and salary. Amazing what happens when the rest of the team gets introduced to THE BALL.
February 17, 2011
RIP Len Lesser at the age of 88, who played Uncle Leo in 15 Seinfeld episodes. "Jerry, Hello!".
February 7, 2011
CHEERS to a class organization, the Green Bay Packers, for their victory in Super Bowl XLV.
BEWARE ladies, steelers qb ben the bum is hitting the bars again.
JEERS to the Star Mangled Banner by the queen of the excessive syllables.
CHEERS to the Cleveland Cavaliers, rewriting history with 25 straight losses!
February 6, 2011
CHEERS to 95-year old Ed Sabol, founder of NFL Films, for his selection to be inducted into Football's Hall of Fame with "those other 6 guys". Question: Should a hotdog named "primetime", employed by FIVE teams in a 14-year career, be inducted? The standards have obviously been lowered just like bringing in the 3-point shot line in the NBA. What's next....T-ball?
February 1, 2011
RIP fitness guru Jack LaLanne 96, comic Charlie Callas 83, impressionist David Frye 77, and rock pioneer Don Kirshner at the age of 76. CHEERS to being excused from Jury Duty today in the deplorable city of Camden, NJ!
January 25, 2011
JEERS to the lazy Snow Idiot below. Bad enough we've got to deal with snow and icy conditions,
now we've got to avoid idiots like this in the Northeast:

January 20, 2011
JEERS to the great Philly oxymoron, "Sixers Basketball", having blown a 5-point lead with 24 seconds last night to the Magic, providing the Magic with TWO FOUR-POINT plays, one at the end of regulation and one in overtime. Seriously, how often do you see a 4-point play? I witnessed 2 within 10 minutes in losing 99-98. Is it baseball season yet?
January 10, 2011
JEERS to the poorly coached Philadelphia Eagles who ended their season with 3 straight losses AT HOME in a span of 12 days. Reid's ongoing theme: "We gotta do a better job..." Vick and the youngsters made it a memorable season. Poor coaching, red zone defense and special teams made it forgettable. Dillweeds!
January 7, 2011
CHEERS to Bert "Be Home" Blyleven for finally being elected to Baseball's Hall of Fame after 14 years of elibility. He'll be inducted along with Roberto "Hock a Loogie at the Umpire's Face" Alomar.
January 1, 2011
CHEERS to launching the New Year with Twilight Zone & Three Stooges Marathons courtesy of the SyFy & AMC channels, pure black & white heaven for those who can't tolerate parades and college football!
December 20, 2010
CHEERS to Philly's Amazing Week in Sports:
12/19/10: Eagles stun Giants 38-31 after trailing 31-10 with less than 8 minutes left
12/18/10: Flyers over Rangers 4-1, Sixers upset Magic 97-89
12/15/10: Flyers over Canadiens 5-3, Sixers over Clippers 105-91
12/14/10: Flyers over Penguins 3-2, Sixers over Nets 82-77
12/13/10: Phillies sign Cliff Lee, the 4th Ace of their pitching staff
12/12/10: Eagles defeat Cowboys 30-27 in Dallas
Heckuva week, sure beats living in Cleveland!
Merry Cliffmas, Happy Halladay, a joyous reason for rhymin's
Lee, Halladay, Oswalt & Hamels, the Phils now have 4 Aces of Diamonds!
December 14, 2010
CHEERS to Cliff Lee for rejoining the Phillies and spurning the Evil Empire of Yankeeville...speaks volumes, probably due to the idiots in ny who spit on his wife during the 2010 playoffs as the yanks lost to the Rangers. "Once again, the forces of good have triumphed over the forces of evil and rottenness." -Maxwell Smart, Secret Agent 86 of Control.
December 7, 2010
CHEERS to former Phillies GM Pat Gillick on his election into Baseball's Hall of Fame whilst george steinbrenner was snubbed--and rightfully so! JEERS to Jayson Werth for choosing $126 million from the chronically last place NATS instead of settling for less on a competitive team. Guess there is an "I" in team afterall. RIP Dandy Don Meredith at the age of 72.
November 28, 2010
RIP to the wonderful and legendary actor Leslie Nielsen at the age of 84. Once a dramatic actor, Leslie along with the Zucker Brothers re-defined comedy and have raised the bar the past 30 years with gems like "Airplane!", "Police Squad" and the "Naked Gun" trilogy. He will Shirley be missed.

November 22, 2010
CHEERS to Camden, NJ, 2008's "Most Dangerous City in America", has now improved to #2 behind #1 St. Louis in 2009's results. Guess they're not as good shooting as they once were. Way to go Camden! (somebody, please send dynamite).
November 17, 2010
CHEERS to another shutout by Phillies' ace Roy "Doc" Halladay on another Cy Young award, receiving all 32 first place votes. CHEERS also to Michael VICKADELPHIA receiving the NFC offensive player of the week award for 2 straight weeks, currently the NFL's top rated QB. JEERS however to Redskins DB LaRon Landry for instigating a near brawl before MNF Nov. 15, mocking DeSean Jackson's concussion, then getting burned by Vick/Jackson on the very first play from scrimmage for an 88-yard TD pass, then spitting on Eagles' center Mike McGlynn twice and now faces discipline.
November 12, 2010
JEERS to former mental midget president gw bush on the release of a new book in which he states that the Kanye West outburst accusing bush of not supporting black people was the "low point of his presidency". Mr. 26% Approval Rating is still clueless of the nearly million people killed in a senseless war against the wrong country and weapons never found.

November 7, 2010
JEERS to even more horrific refereeing that darn near cost the Eagles their 26-24 victory over St. Peyton Manning and the Colts. The Birds survived 2 phantom helmet contact calls and 14 overall penalties in what's becoming the National Powder Puff League. CHEERS: Packers 45, Cowgirls 7 improving the Super Bowl bound Dallas team of schmucks to 1-7.
November 2, 2010
CHEERS to the World Champion SF Giants in winning their first ever title since moving to Frisco in 1958. Outstanding pitching coupled with a team of no-name misfits. The $97 million Giants outscored the $55 million Rangers 29-12 in the series after the Rangers outscored the $210 million Yankees 38-19....hmm, what's that say about the Yankees?
October 31, 2010
How 'bout them 1-6 Cowboys? Love it.

October 24, 2010
RIP 2010 Phillies...No hits, no series, no Three-Peat. How fitting their 25 million dollar man Ryan Howard looked at strike three to end the series just as the wankees' A-Roid did the night before. Ryan: If Barry Bonds is going to continue as your mentor, insist he supply the Balco Juice along with the lessons. You ended the season with nearly 60 ABs without a homer and went RBI-less in the playoffs. Kindly give back a percentage of your salary, cork your bat with Viagra and we'll see you in the Spring.
October 23, 2010
CHEERS to the $55 million Rangers for trashing the $210 million Evil Empire to win their very first AL Pennant, outscoring the wanks 38-19. Maybe someday the wankees will be able to afford sewing their last names on their jerseys. The casual fan has no idea who they are, and the only recognizable ones are the horse-face pitcher, the big-eared catcher who calls 47 timeouts per game, the half-breed womanizer shortstop, and of course the $32 million dollar cheater A-Rod, aka A-Hole, aka A-Roid. Pay your dues boys and be sure to visit the "boss" in Hell during the off-season.

October 22, 2010
STILL ALIVE are the Phightin' Phils, now down 3-2 in the NLCS. This DL-riddled team was written off in July in second place 7 games behind the Braves and somehow ended up with a MLB leading 97 victories despite Utley's hip, J-Roll's hamstring, Polanco's elbow, and endless hitting droughts. No RIP just yet, stay tuned.

JEERS to MLB, FOX and the SF Giants organization for disrespecting America by having this drag queen sing "God Bless America" at the 7th inning stretch during Game 5 of the Phillies-Giants NLCS.
JEERS also to TBS for over-promoting no-talent record scratcher Kid Rock for the past 3 weeks of the MLB postseason telecasts. AWFUL. Would have been better off sanctioning William Hung.
October 20, 2010 CHEERS to the underdog/upstart Rangers & Giants, closing in on a ratings-nightmare World Series faceoff. JEERS to the Phillies who are quickly turning into the yankees...No hits, No series. BTW, so I'm asleep on the couch, wake up, it's 7-3 Rangers in the 7th with nobody in the seats behind home plate at yankee stadium...was I watching an exhibition game? CHEERS to the 300 yankee faithful who stayed to watch the blowout. Atsa shame. RIP Mr. C.
October 19, 2010
Two fine works of art:

October 18, 2010

October 17, 2010
CHEERS to Roy Story 2, Oswalt evening the NLCS at 1 game apiece between the Phils and Giants. The Phightin' Phils are trying to become the first NL team in 66 years to appear in 3 straight World Series', quite a feat.
October 17, 2010
JEERS to Gomer "The Dweeb" Romeo and his 1-4 football team. How bout them Cowboys!
October 14, 2010
RIP Barbara Billingsley, aka June Cleaver, the mother on "Leave it to Beaver". Another memorable role was in 1980's "Airplane!" as she tranlated jive from two Black passengers for the stewardess.
October 9, 2010
RIP AJ (18) & Stephen (12), two former Comp Ed students of mine. They're now in Paradise with their Savior.
October 8, 2010
JEERS to the "best fielding team" in 2010, the Bobble-Reds. 4 errors, 3 HBP's, much appreciated in Philly, thanx. Aren't they also the "best hitting team" in 2010 who just got no-hit 2 nights ago?
October 7, 2010
JEERS to another MLB postseason of incompetent umpires making more news than ever. Solution: Give managers 2 challenges per game...if it fails, they lose an out. We have the technology dillweeds.
October 6, 2010
CHEERS to RED DOCTOBER as Roy Halladay pitches the 2nd No-Hitter in the history of the MLB playoffs against the "top offensive team of 2010", the Cincinnati Reds. CHEERS also to his catcher Carlos Ruiz who called another brilliant game. Halliday only shook of 1 of the 104 pitches called by Ruiz. Class pitcher, class organization.
October 1, 2010
RIP to Gloria Stuart, 100, of Titanic fame, NFL Great George Blanda, 83, James Winner, 81, inventor of The Club who died in a PA car crash, Leonard Skinner, 77, the gym teacher Van Zandt named his band after, and Jimi Heselden, 62, owner of the Segway Company who died in a Segway accident.
"Irony can be pretty ironic." -Ted Striker
September 26, 2010
CHEERS to 123 straight Phillies' sellouts including every game this year totaling over 3.6 million!
CHEERS to 4 straight NL East Division Titles for the Phils, a top-notch roid-free class organization.
CHEERS to VICKADELPHIA, another sizzling performance in a 28-3 thrashing of the Jaguars.
In 10 quarters Michael Vick has produced 11 TDs and has only settled for 1 FG,
a dramatic change to the 3-4 David Akers FGs average the past decade.
The "Holier than Thou" rights groups continue to protest, refuse to sing "Amazing Grace" because it was written by a prisoner, and they've boycotted 2/3 of the New Testament that was written by Paul, formerly Saul, chief executioner of the early Christians, the self-proclaimed "chief of all sinners".
September 23, 2010
JEERS to the Evil Empire. Bigger than Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio and Mantle?
Once again Baseball Blasphemy in the Bronx.

The new yankee stadium: land of empty premium seats, excessive ads and broken-bat homers.
September 22, 2010
CHEERS to Eagles' coach Andy Reid for making the right decision.
JEERS to the Daily News for their immature bad taste in front covers.
Talk about a short leash on Eagles' QB Kevin Kolb.

September 21, 2010
CHEERS to the Phillies 3-headed pitching monster Halladay, Hamels & Oswalt (H2O)
who became the first threesome to have sub 3.00 ERA's since Oswalt did it in 2005 (as an Astro)
with Juicers Roger "I mis-remembered" Clemens and Andy "ok I did it" Pettitte.

August 30, 2010
CHEERS to Japan who won the Little League World Series.
JEERS to Team Mexico, 80% of whom named A-Roid as their favorite player.
They all wore this emblem on their jerseys. Are they that oblivious?

August 4, 2010
JEERS to A-Roid as he hits the most uncelebrated 600th homer in MLB history.

I guess by now you sense our distaste for the Evil Empire.
If $240 million buys another championship, will anyone really care? No, of course not.
Put Jeter in the Orioles lineup for the past 15 years and what do you have? Cal Ripken--without the broads.
Heck, I could hit .300 in that lineup with my wing tips on. Case in point: Swisher was a 2010 All-Star. Ouch!
Someday soon the salary cap will fix these chumps, level the playing field, and bring dignity back to the game.
July 14, 2010
CHEERS to the State of New Jersey for cracking down on cell phone idiots behind the wheel. Details

Bottom line: HANG UP AND DRIVE.
JEERS to the idiots in the ballparks waving endlessly behind 1st, 3rd and home plate.
When their not waving, they're looking down texting blah blah blah in their $180 seat.
What ever happened to actually watching a game?
July 8, 2010
JEERS to LeChump for the low class manner in which to announce his "decision".

CHEERS to Green Lawnger Turfpaint in responding to the drought of 2010.
Conserve water, save money. Before & After shots below:

JEERS to the Summer of 2010 - Philly received a record of 54 days of over 90 degrees
thus restoring the reality of global warming...
CHEERS to the Winter of 2009 - Philly received a record of over 72 inches of snow
thus removing any thoughts of global warming...
JEERS to Tiger on making the news Thanksgiving, 2009

November 23, 2009
RIP MRR at the age of 84.
October 29, 2008
CHEERS to the 2008 World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies!
Reward below for performing "Final Jeopardy" on hands & tire pump via $3 VHS tape:

September 11, 2001
"Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord." -Romans 12:19
February 15, 2001
Keanu Reeves swept by me backstage moments before I appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno with The Three Tendons. Unfortunately, Keanu was promoting his worst film ever, "November Rain".
3rd Week of February 1999
Appeared on the "Donny & Marie Show" with Smokey Robinson and "Good Day Philadelphia". This would be the first and last time I've been televised twice in one week, just amazing.
June 14, 1997
Married Janice on Flag Day. Had Filet Mignon & Halibut, but missed out on the Pigs in a Blanket during cocktail hour.
The Rest of the Year 1995 has been placed in the

January 3, 1995
Completely cured of terminal cancer when my ex drained the bank account, left town, and fulfilled her vision of trading the American Dream for a carton of cigarettes and a bottle of Vodka. Thank you. No really, thank you!
October 22, 1988
CHEERS to being Gonged on the Gong Show! This would be the first of 2 dozen tv appearances for this Manualist.
August 9, 1988
CHEERS to the LA Kings for signing Wayne Gretsky, the greatest hockey player in the history of the sport.
July 13, 1985
CHEERS to Live Aid, one of the finest days of music known to mankind.
November 11, 1983
CHEERS to an long overdue vasectomy as executed by the late, great Dr. Joshua Alpern.
Thanks Doc, RIP, you literally saved me tens of thousands of dollars in further parental damages.
The Year 1981 has been placed in the

October 21, 1980
CHEERS to the World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies!
May 16, 1980
CHEERS to the NBA World Champion LA Lakers, the first of FIVE titles in the 80's!
The Year 1977 has been placed in the

November 26, 1976
CHEERS to The Band's "Last Waltz" featuring EC and a dozen other rock legends.
November 22, 1976
SAW Clapton at the Forum w/ Mangano & Pagaza. That's right, the Law Offices of Rotondo, Mangano & Pagaza saw EC just 4 days before The Last Waltz.
August 14, 1975
CHEERS to my first Clapton concert, the "Legendary L.A. Forum Show" with Keith Moon, Joe Cocker & Carlos Santana.
July 22, 1975
CHEERS to my first concert, floor seats to see Ambrosia open for Stephen Stills:

May 27, 1975
CHEERS to the Stanley Cup Champion Philadelphia Flyers, 2 years in a row!
May 19, 1974
The Flyers win the Stanley Cup! The Flyers win the Stanley Cup!
The Year 1970 has been placed in the

July 2, 1964

Sometime in the 1950's
The World's first Comic/Manualist/Tire Pumpist combination is born.
October 29, 1929
JEERS to the beginning of The Great Depression. Ah yes, I remember it well.
September 9, 1901
RIP Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, famous French artist, at the age of 36.
My favorite quote of his: "Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning."
December 25, 0001
CHEERS to the birth of the Savior of the world (though most likely born in the Spring).
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